Hold the Clives, Please

This past week, Nevada rancher and half witted idiot Cliven Bundy (the name says it all folks), as well as his hat, performed the equivalent of a political outing on the GOP.  Bundy has been grazing cattle on federal lands for decades without paying grazing fees to his Muslim landlord, President Barrack Hussein Obama.  When THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT arrived to take its cool toys back home, a standoff ensued between Bundy supporters (who evangelical-WWJD-conservatively threatened to use women and children as human shields) and the feds.  If anything is going to stimulate the colon that is the right wing nut job paranoia factory it’s a reenactment of Fort Sumter, but this time PATRIOTS get all Second Amendment on those pinko bitchizzz and run ‘em back to their hi-falutin’  corporate jets.  Victory!!  Treason by using women and children’s lives as leverage!  These colors don’t run, Obummer!!

What’s this??–say the people with half a brain.  Women and children as human shields!?!?–why, that’s UNAMERICAN, say most people not in comas.  Well, it’s actually about as American as a guy who says sh*t like this:


Right?  Right?  How about this press conference, where the Welfare Desperado clarified his statement:


Exactly!  Those left-wing socialist homo Jesus haters and THE NEGRO don’t understand what makes America ‘Murrica.  If they did, they’d speak the truth about how THE NEGRO was way better off with slavery n’ junk because “they” learned the value of work, and how to go on picnics and have family life.  Unless you don’t like grueling forced labor and arbitrary dehumanization, your idea of a picnic doesn’t involve getting torn apart by pit bulls, and your family life normally refrains from auctioning off your spouses, parents, children, aunts, uncles and close friends.  In that case, you’d be one of those left wing socialist homo Jesus haters, not a true ‘Merrican hero, like this Canadian.

Of course conservatives who originally flocked to Clive, including people who are ACTUALLY UNITED STATES SENATORS WTF have since dropped him like the sack of sh*t he is.  Too bad you were wrong to support this deadbeat to begin with, oh ye pullers of bootstraps.  He was making a living off of the subsidies of The Unilateral State of Boy King Muslim.  Nice to see that the GOP is supportive of social justice, as long as it’s justice for the REAL American People.


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